Thursday, March 17, 2011


     Today is one of those days where I am delighted to be me and where I am.  I try to be honestly realistic with this.  For one thing, I do believe that's the truth but I know I often use it as a defense mechanism and maybe lie to myself a little.  Two, it's not just me feeling and saying that, I think I'm having a 'blending' day (a term I've recently learned where two or more alters share the same space and sort of live together but may be confused over who did what).  So excuse me if I'm a bit spacey, but I wanted to write here today anyway.  I may include input from other alters as I write.  Three, I try not to be like the constantly peppy people who always post bumper sticker comments on facebook, and constantly talk in bumper sticker phrases.  To be honest, I kind of have an urge to smack them.  But they're cute, so I leave them alone.  They probably only irritate me because I can't quite acknowledge that I am so much like them at times.  Relentlessly upbeat and willfully ignorant.
     I do love where I am.  I firmly believe that I am here for a purpose, and everything happens for a reason.  Then again, sometimes I don't.  Sometimes I think that's bullshit.  How dare you try and squeam your way out of facing something bad by dressing it up as something good?  Varying opinions here.  I know and respect all the opinions inside me as totally valid, because they are completely honest.
Can we get through this?
     Some inside me are very religious.  Some are more what you would call 'spiritual'.  They all have an astounding conviction to something, even some of the young ones.  Sometimes I am surprised more 'singletons' I have met don't.  But we all love being comfortable and confident in ourselves, and that is something I think all my alters possess a lot of, honest inquiry, or at least those who felt drawn to question and discuss such matters.
      I am delighted to be where I am in this life, with all my gifts, challenges, and loves.  I am delighted to meet and know all my alters, and am very grateful to them and to having DID as a life saving system that kept me alive.  I am honored to be able to share about DID, and hope to not only survive with it, but excel.  Some alters have no doubt of this, have no lack of willpower.  Others are all too aware of how hard things can be, having survived some of the worst themselves.  I embrace them all.  Today I love life.

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