Monday, March 3, 2014

Life in Color

     Since starting to integrate my personalities, my life has become brighter, more colorful.  Some of my youngest alters LOVE vibrant colors, and as that molds with who I am, it is reflected in my choices.  I used to gravitate toward dark, somber colors.  My wardrobe was almost strictly black, grey, and army green.  Now it looks like paint cans have been upended over my life.  My walls are a cheery peach and light woods green, that positively glows when the sun hits it in the mid-afternoon.  Our love of light and color also got us to look for a sun-catcher (hard to find in this rainy state), so our room is also frequently full of dancing rainbows.  (My wardrobe varies according to who is out when they get a chance to buy something, but there is now a conspicuous bright red pair of pants peeking out between my blacks and greys.)

     We bought some much needed footwear this year, and it wasn't really until after I got them that I noticed they were incredibly bright and colorful.  I have to say, I am quite happy with this, as it uses fun as a weapon almost against the grueling aspects of a DID life.  We are delighted to look down throughout the day and see our brightly decorated feet peeping back at us.  It is one of our most solid reminders that letting our alters out, and incorporating their likes and dislikes has only been beneficial.  Discovering I had alters and learning to share my life with them was a shock, and at times very hard.  I have always felt they are incredibly admirable and delightful, but I kept myself distant and did and still do struggle with the idea of sharing my "out" time, and my life in general.  We all do.  However as we start to integrate I am still admiring and feel at times privileged, bettered as a person for being able to integrate with them.

       We are on a waiting list for an apartment, and in preparation have bought most of our future kitchen things (and that is pretty much all we were excited to focus on).  It is all boxed up under our bed.  The fantastic array of color this time is very deliberate, now being aware of how powerful color is as a therapy tool in general, but especially for us.  Other people may cringe at the color choices of our kitchen ware but we are, I would say, gleeful.  We spend a lot of time in the kitchen, and we cannot wait to cook using our orange and red stoneware, blue pots, purple bowl, purple blender, yellow cups, and neon green spoons.  We are even (slightly) looking forward to doing the dishes, seeped and surrounded in our color oasis.  We have absolutely proved that color therapy works for us, it is a huge contribution from my alters that I am very happy with.