Friday, November 16, 2012

That Question

     Today we had a dentist appointment at 9a.m..  Since for various reasons we have been a night owl for the last few months, we decided the only way to pull this off was to yank our schedule down a bit this week and then pull an all night-er the night before.  Yeah, won't be doing THAT again any time soon. 
     So while we were sitting in the dentist chair (the awesome one that silently glides up and down so I feel like I'm on a mini roller coaster), wearing the sun glasses she gave me to shade against the overhead glare (awesome sun glasses that made me feel like a rock star), two things happened worth mentioning.  First, it occurred to me that while I was happy not to be freaking out at the dentist as I had feared, I was enjoying this way too much.  I nearly shared my glee with the dental hygienist about the rising chair and the rock star shades but rather unsuccessfully covered it up.  I began to ponder that we seriously need to get out more. 
     Then we began that awkward attempt at a two way conversation while one person is holding sharp objects and electric powered tools in the others' mouth.  That's usually the worst part of a dentist trip for many abuse survivors.  I don't have it too bad, but it makes some alters very nervous or frightened.  But the hygienist was very careful and cheerful, giving me plenty of breaks in which I was able to actually reply enough for us to hold a real conversation, which I felt rather proud of.  Good distraction.  The not so good part of the good distraction was my ability as an unemployed person who has suffered severe trauma and is now mentally incapacitated for the time being, to have good answers for the most basic polite conversation starters. 

     "So what do you do?" 

     I live off the goodwill of others while I take an excruciating long time to heal from brainwashing, sexual assault, and torture.       *cricket chirps*
     "Um, I don't work.  I do stuff at home."

     "What are you doing for the rest of the day/weekend?"

     Oh yeah, people actually plan stuff like this.  How would I know what I'll be doing in four hours?
     "I . . .  stay so busy planning for stuff during the week I don't plan for the weekend, I just crash."

     "Oh, that's too bad."

    Nothing like giving a fake answer to avoid eliciting pity only to elicit pity anyway because you're fake answer was just so lame.  So as I learned today, if there are things in your life you can't discuss with strangers and the most basic social questions throw you off guard, you need an alibi.  An alias, if you will.  Prepare for these kinds of questions beforehand and practice them.  You don't have to lie, but know in advance what you are comfortable sharing and what you are not.  Be prepared to share at least something or deflect the question in a way that leaves both you and the other person comfortable.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

MPD Frasier Quotes

      I know I have not posted in awhile, here is a bit of Multiple Personality humor from one of my favorite TV shows;

"I really have to go. I'm conducting a seminar on multiple personality disorders, and it takes me forever to fill out the name tags."  -Niles Crane

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"Oh, I'm sorry. I meant to, but I had a crisis with a patient. One of my multiples had a new personality emerge - a one-hundred-and-ten-year-old Frenchwoman. It would have been too risky to put off his therapy. Plus I would have missed out on a wonderful recipe for bouillabaisse." - Niles Crane

"Oh yes, I had the same trouble with some of my multiple personality patients; one would always claim that the other one sent the check." Frasier Crane